The ridiculist: life lessons on toddler skill sets, tailbone trauma and facing your fears

Rob Dyrdek has taught us so many things over the years, from what it means to love a Big man to how the awesomeness of being a kid can live on within a “Fantasy Factory.” However, when it comes to cautionary tales, there is no finer teaching tool than Rob’s crowning glory: the ode to accidents we call “Ridiculousness.” Each week, we’ll pass along the three most valuable life lessons handed down by Rob and his crew in order to keep you safe, sound and off of this show.

On last week’s episode, Rob welcomed Bam Margera, who has learned through trial and error what it takes to keep a human in one piece. Here’s what we can all take away from the “Ridiculousness” of others:

Life Lesson #1: Babies cannot and should not do adult things.

When you have a child, your first instinct may be to document every precious coo or adorable tumble. After a few years, as the pressure to up the camera fodder ante mounts, please don’t encourage your youngin to partake in things they’re still too small for. Skateboarding? Can’t hack it. BMX biking? That’s just a face plant waiting to happen. And if your toddler is riding a motorcycle, you probably shouldn’t be taping that to begin with.

Life Lesson #2: There’s a bone in your butt. Treat it with respect. 

Sure, the word coccyx is hilarious, but bruising your tailbone is anything but. Universally speaking, the butt bone is regarded as one of the most delicate parts of the body and, as such, should not be hit with any of the following: Skateboards, slides, floorboards or the cold, hard ground. In an effort to keep that important piece of your spine intact, remember Steelo’s sage advice: “You can’t do nothing extreme in Crocs.”

Life Lesson #3: The fear in your eyes is camera gold.

By now, most humans have evolved to react in one of two ways when staring fear in the face: Fight or flight. The good people featured on “Ridiculousness,” however, have developed a curious third reaction to being confronted with scary masks, toy spiders and loud noises: Screaming and flailing while the camera rolls. In the future, try to remain as calm as possible, or risk ending up like one of Rob Dyrdek’s poor, unfortunate and publicly humiliated souls.

What other life lessons did you learn from last week’s episode? Let us know in the comments!