Ryan reynolds’ guide for getting your bae to watch ‘deadpool’ on valentine’s day

Deadpool is a constant purveyor of all-things-holiday-related — mainly because it means he gets to open his dirty merc mouth and insert a little shock value into the mix.

From his disturbing Mother’s Day tribute to Ryan Reynolds wearing the real DP costume for Halloween (and then, true to character, cursing out kids for the f–k of it), to jumping on the Christmas yule log tradition train, the character is constantly butting in on the celebration front.

So it should come as no surprise that Valentine’s Day is also subject to his, uh, charms (?) — especially since the film opens that same weekend. But anyone who knows anything about “Deadpool” can agree that the guy’s gritty and graphic nature is ANYTHING but romantic.

For those who want to sneak in a screening during the lovey-dovey weekend, though, Reynolds has a plan all cooked up for you: pretend you’re just going to see another crappy sappy rom-com that’s tailor-made for the occasion.

He’s even got your ask-out text all scripted:

It’s evil, sure… but also kinda genius. Because by the time your unsuspecting victim realizes what they’re watching, it’ll be way too late to end the date (because who gets up and leaves a theater in 2016?!). Besides, boxes of chocolate and theater popcorn will totally make up for any butthurt involved. Guaranteed.