Kim kardashian’s new energy drink commercial will confuse the f–k out of you

For whatever reason, Kim Kardashian is the new face of Hype Energy Drink. And for her first official task as Lady Hype-master, the mama-to-be has flaunted her impressive style versatility in the most bonkers commercial we’ve ever seen.

Where to even begin?

Let’s start at the top of the clip, which finds our chic heroine lying on the pavement (gasp!), her bling-tastic wedding ring twinkling in the foreground for our collective awe and jealousy.


Rewind to a few minutes (or maybe even seconds?) before, with fully-conscious Kim cosplaying as Audrey Hepburn. She’s leisurely biking in circles, sporting jet-black baby bangs and toting a basket full of assorted Hype Energy Drinks (product placement on fleek).


In a quick flash, we’re transported into Kim’s French aristocracy-inspired dream, in which she channels her inner Marie Antoinette with jarringly snow-white skin and a wig that’s teased to the high heavens. There are also strategic close-ups of her breasts because sex sells, people.


After making some uncomfortable eye contact with the camera, 17th century Kim sips her magical pink drink (Hype Energy, duh), which clearly enlivens her spirit and inspires a new change of scenery.


Back to Bike Victim Kim — she’s finally woken up (thank Yeezus) and carts her two-wheeler off with her. But wait! Just when you think you’ve seen it all, we’re transported to another dream-within-a-dream, because this ish has more layers than “Inception.” Here, techno-loving Kim is slicked-out in an array of mod, glam fashun, including killer thigh-high lace-up heels and questionable cornrows.


So. Yes, this is one seriously bizarre commercial (sorry, short film) we’ve been given here. But if we’re being totally honest, it definitely does its job — we kinda want to give this new drink a taste now and see what kind of whacked-out dream scenarios it gives us.

Anyway, if you think you can analyze this vid more clearly, please do so in the comments.