This ‘hunger games’ simulator says j law would totally lose the hunger games
Get a thrill at the idea of tributes battling each other to the death in ’The Hunger Games’ franchise, but maybe not a big fan of the ritualistic child murder that comes along with it? Have we got an Internet meme for YOU!
Last December, developer Brant Steele created a program that mimics the brutality of the Hunger Games, but with totally customizable players. Basically, you can upload pictures of anybody you want — Pikachu, Justin Timberlake, the entire cast of “Degrassi” — and let them loose on each other in a virtual murder simulator. As you can imagine, it’s now become incredibly popular on the Internet — and it also got very weird, too.
But it also got us thinking — how would the actual cast of the ’Hunger Games’ fare if they were forced to face off against one another? Would any of Jennifer Lawrence’s archery skills transfer over to real life? Would Josh Hutcherson know how to do more than just decorate cakes? Would Amandla Stenberg overcome her role as the tragically dead Rue and win it all?
We can’t actually ask them to fight each other for real, because that would be horrifying, but we CAN throw all their names into a simulator and see what happens. So we did just that! And what happened was… actually, not all that surprising.
Here are our tributes:
(I wasn’t sure whether or not to include Philip Seymour Hoffman given his real-life death last winter, but figured it would be weird to leave him out given how important he was to the franchise.)
First, the Cornucopia:
Which not everybody escapes alive:
Including President Snow himself:
Remember Claudius Templesmith from the first ’Hunger Games’ movie? He’s coming back in ’Mockingjay Part 2,’ and CLEARLY he’s picked up some skills.
The women all have a hard time killing each other at first, though:
(Meanwhile, all the men are dying of hunger and thirst.)
And some of them even start bonding:
“Nope, I don’t know what happened to Jon Snow either.”
SAY IT AIN’T SO, JOSHIFER. And during the 25 Days of J Law, even!
And then Beetee fulfills his destiny:
The dude IS really good at explosives.
On the fifth day, all the tributes start to hallucinate:
It does not go well for most of them.
Seriously, things go really off the rails.
To be fair, I’d probably really want a pillow after five straight days of murder.
Until it’s down to two…
And Gwendoline Christie’s left standing!
Yeah, that makes sense. She is the toughest lady in three different franchises, now.
Wanna try it out for yourself? You can play with ’The Hunger Games’ simulator at Brant Steele’s website, along with a bunch of other reality show-based programs like “Big Brother” and “Survivor.” There’s less death in those games, though. Which… is probably preferable.