How to pass the minutes while awaiting the arrival of your ‘catfish’

Put aside the fact that Catfish can be sneaky, deceitful or unwilling to offer a bit of contrition — if you meet them in a public place, they can be LATE, LATE, LATE.

On last week’s episode, resident sleuth Nev Schulman and guest host Tyler Oakley helped a young lady named Daisy get to the bottom of her mysterious online relationship with a man named Marcus, whom she’d met through Instagram. Marcus was sweet and supportive but could also be incredibly taciturn, and when it came time for the two flirty lovebirds to meet face-to-face, Marcus proved he wasn’t necessarily the most punctual guy either. To say Daisy, Nev and Tyler had time to twiddle their thumbs would have been an understatement, and at one point, Nev was so sure the group was being stood up that he considered packing up and shipping out. Eventually, though, Marcus showed up, and order was restored. But what if next week’s shadowy figure doesn’t abide by the laws of the clock’s minute hand, either? So that no future “Catfish” feature’s forced to wait idly by as the seconds tick, we’ve put together a little list of ways to make use of the wait. Check ‘em out, and be sure to catch the next “Catfish” episode tomorrow night at 10e/7p!

Balance your checkbook.

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Your love life might be slipping into the red, but who says your finances need to immediately follow suit! Most mobile apps can help you manage multiple accounts in tandem, and you’ll quickly become your advisor’s star client. Look at you, Wall Street!

Hand off your sandwich’s crust to a flock of local game.

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Every city’s got its own unique history, take on cuisine and, presumably, birds crowding nearby ponds and harbors. They’re hungry. You’re done with your peanut butter and jelly. See how this works?

Fashion old gum wrappers into expensive-looking jewelry.

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You’ve got time, a bare wrist and trash that reads “Trident” lining the bottom of your purse — time to drum up those old techniques you learned at Camp Pa-Gon-Ki! Who knows, this could be the start of a lengthy career at Tiffany & Co.

Affix a “kick me” sign to Nev’s back…in a foreign language!

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French gotten a little rusty since your semester abroad? Can’t seem to remember the trickiest conjugations from your AP Spanish exam? Why not kill two birds (NOT THE ONES YOU JUST FED) with one stone and have a little fun with the “Catfish” sleuth. A little laughter might lighten the mood!

Exchange winning vegetarian recipes.

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Time to turn anxiety into productivity — if you can’t go home with the love of your life, go home with step-by-step directions on whipping up a casserole that won’t leave you bloated.

Act as an arbiter for an argument between children on the playground.

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Who was really next in line for the slide? Did Patty S. definitely cheat during hide-and-seek? Now that you’re an adult with a few minutes to kill, why not restore order to the war zone that is the sandbox and silence the needless screaming?

Wish with all your might that an ice cream truck passes by and see if one actually manifests.

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Don’t open your eyes until you can smell the Cotton Candy Swirl.

Call your mother for once in your life.

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What are you, a monster?

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