Amy schumer as the next ‘bachelorette’? It could happen

Amy Schumer as the next “Bachelorette” is a thing that could actually happen. Which means the ABC reality show might be about to get a whole lot more real. And (intentionally) hilarious.

Oh, and someone should probably go ahead and increase the booze budget eleventyfold.

Amy Schumer Wine GIF

The “Trainwreck” comedienne had done a cameo on the show — which, fun fact, she just so happens to be a giant superfan of — earlier in the season, and during her brief guest stint she managed to call one guy a “turd” and still vet him as the next “Bachelor.” Which was so very Amy Schumer of her.

Now people want her to become the next eligible lady looking for some lovin’ on TV because it would be sure-thing amazement, and she’s not saying no to the pitch.

Speaking to E! Online, Schumer came up with a list of demands that ABC would have to satisfy before she’d consider putting her heart on the national TV line.


1. First and foremost, of course, is loot.

Amy Schumer Friday Night Lights

“Money — a lot of money,” she demanded. And chances are, she’ll take ’em in rolled up wads of sweaty ones, too.


2. Second? No permagrin B.S.

Amy Schumer Drinks
“They would have to say that ‘we will let you be yourself and we won’t try to make you be like ‘today I had a date, meh meh meh. We’re really connecting more.’ I would say what was really up,” said Schumer.Which would basically make it the most must-watch thing to ever happen in the history of television.


3. Finally, she don’t want no scrubs.

Amy Schumer yellow GIF

And especially no “turds.” “The casting process would have to be different. It’s like, ’former investment banker’?! They’re like, ’flower enthusiast?’ You’re like, ’But what do you do? How come you could leave your life?’”So, essentially, she’s setting the low bar at actual employment because goals.

And though she might have been only pseudo-serious about all of this, the show’s host Chris Harrison is going all in with the YES for all three of her demands.

“Let’s do this!” he tweeted in response to the list.

Indeed, let’s.