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“The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” hits theaters this Friday (August 14), and surely, there’s a whole lot about the film to talk about — like attractive man Armie Hammer’s relationship with other attractive man Henry Cavill, for example, and the super mod ’60s cars and costumes. But when wescreened the film, we had an “unfortunate” time paying attention to anything but Hammer’s mesmerizing, soul-piercing baby blue eyes.
Like, seriously — how does one human being come to own every single item on the conventionally attractive human being checklist? Like, tall? Yup, Armie’s got that: he’s 6’5″. Muscular build? Obviously, but not too muscular to the point where it becomes distracting. Blonde hair? Oh boy, is it ever. But it’s the eyes that truly slay… as evidenced by the photos below, which took us 17 hours to round up because we kept getting lost in them, to the point where we received many concerned phone calls from our loved ones.
Proceed with caution:
What is even real?
The only good part about “The Lone Ranger” was those eyes, TBH.
“Where’s your twin brother, Armie?” is a joke we’re sure he’s not tired of hearing.
(Damn you for making us type out U.N.C.L.E. every single time, movie.)
Stop, guys. The genetics just aren’t fair.
Now it’s our turn to stare into that abyss…
All beautiful blues go to heaven. This is fact.
And when you smize, the whole world stops and stares for a while…
A true American hero, this guy.
I lost four hours of my life that night.
The one and only time we ever had anything in common with Leonardo DiCaprio.